Ad Nauseam Award for worst World-Cup related advertisement: The French company who promoted a Michalak Burger. Hard to believe that it wouldn’t be flaky and fall apart under pressure just as their Anelka Burger would probably seem great at the start, but leave an unpleasant aftertaste.

Best try: Argentina’s third, launched by Ignacio Corleto, continued by Juan Martin Hernandez’s huge pass and completed by Federico Martin Aramburu, in the third place match against France.

Men’s Health Award for Premature Exaltation: The IRB sending every World Cup journalist a text announcing Bryan Habana as Player of the Year on Sunday afternoon, then hurriedly sending out a correction saying the award would not be made until the evening – when it was won by, surprise, surprise, Bryan Habana

Worst match: France v Ireland

Best venue : Nantes

William Webb Ellis award for unwitting posthumous achievement: Guy Moquet, the French resistance worker shot in 1941. By making Clement Poitrenaud read out the letter he wrote on the eve of his death, Bernard Laporte contrived to both depress his team before the opener against Argentina and get himself accused of putting politics in front of his coaching priorities

Greatest disappointment: Ireland

Best passage of play: Japan’s four-minute injury-time attempt to rescue their match against Fiji

David Beckham award for self-effacement: Sebastian Chabal

Unlikeliest underdogs: Japan (population 127.5 million, annual GNP per capita $33,100) for the second World Cup running found themselves cast in this role and cheered on against the nasty big guys from Fiji (pop 919,000 GNP pc $6,200)

Best player: Victor Matfield

Best bit of French rugby terminology: Melee spontanee. It means loose scrum, but is irresistibly suggestive of Saturday night in Glasgow.

Give this man another medal award: Martin Corry, for being the decent, selfless, rather battered face of English rugby through all the really bad times

Sven-Goran Eriksson award for inexplicable selections: Bernard Laporte

100 and out award: Gareth Thomas

Nicolas Sarkozy award for the most animated head of government: Thabo Mbeki

Best press conference performer: Agustin Pichot’s small daughter

Amnesty international award for upholding freedom of expression: The NZRU refereeing chief who promised that the ref who told a local paper that Wayne Barnes had refereed the French match pretty well would be identified and punished

Song we won’t mind not hearing for another four years: World in Union

Gavin Henson award for questionable musical selections: The World Cup organisers. Is ‘je ne regretted rien’ really a diplomatic choice immediately after matches, when one team has just seen a lifetime’s ambition destroyed?

Best crime story: The Parisien’s Saturday scoop that the artificial pitch at France’s Marcoussis training headquarters may be stolen property. Must have been one hell of a big lorry that it fell off…

Worst team to play in a World Cup Final: Still France 1999. Ok, they were magic for half an hour in the semi-final, but everybody forgets the Five Nations wooden spoon, the defeat by Tonga on tour, the dreadful refereeing decision that fluked them past Fiji and the listless display in the final.

Best haircut: Finau Maka (won in perpetuity)

See you all in New Zealand...